Sunday, January 27, 2013

Revelations In My Browser History More Embarrassing Than Pornography

1. I have separate bookmarks for “Removing Urine From a Mattress,” “Removing Urine From a Rug,” and “Removing Urine From an Upholstered Chair.”

2. Recently I couldn't remember if the name of the country was Hungary or Hungaria.

3. I opened a link from Pinterest called “90 Ideas for Holiday Wreaths” and clicked through all 90.

4. I've looked up “lay vs. lie,” forgotten the answer, and looked it up again, seven times.

5. I searched for my own name on Wikipedia, just in case.

6. I watched the first ten minutes of “American Horror Story” episode one, got scared, turned it off, then stayed up until 2am reading an entire season's worth of recaps.

7. I have hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpurchased shopping cart items including a $200 sonic skin cleansing system, Python for Dummies, a tweed capelet, and a bird bath.

8. At some point in every Wikipedia research thread I get bored and just jump to the List of Serial Killers.