Jin Jiang Amusement Park

On Saturday Dev and I celebrated the unseasonably warm weather by taking a trip to the Jin Jiang Amusement Park, which we thoroughly enjoyed from top to bottom, from the 10,000 Year Old Camphor Tree Ticket Office to whatever the hell this is.

The haunted house was suffused with the twin horrors of shoddiness and decrepitude, though its soundtrack of screams and moans was less frightening when it was replayed several hundred feet away in the Dinosaur Cavern rollercoaster, this time bouncing off several inert plaster dinosaurs and an exhausted coaster. Like all self-propelled amusements, the Bicycle Monorail was fun for about three minutes, after which it felt like digging your own grave.

But by far, the highlight of the trip was Joyland, Shanghai's answer to Disneyland's Small World ride, one of my childhood's fondest loves. This horrifying replica featured one-armed gnomes, leering anti-Semitic caricatures, and, of course, flagrant trademark infringement.

We were also glad to see that these kids showed up - the exact same loud teenage girl and sullen teenage boy that have stood in line with you at every single amusement park you have ever been to. Including, apparently, in China. Why? For entertainment.